Growing up on a Wyoming cattle ranch in the seventies, one was provided with opportunities to learn that wearing your hat at the table might earn you a brisk backhand, smacking you away from that table. At least that was the rule at our house. And to not remove your hat at a restaurant table was unthinkable.
A while back my wife and I went out for dinner in Rapid City, SD during the Black Hills Stock Show. The show is a week and a half of great livestock events, PRCA rodeo, and agriculture-related trade exhibits. People come from neighboring states and further to take this all in. Surely, this is a crowd who knows a thing or two about hats.
I was a little surprised when I noticed a guy wearing his hat while eating. My first thought was that young people just aren’t raised the way I was. Then I noticed another, this one older. I looked around the room and counted no fewer than six cowboy hats and ball caps being worn by men from 20 years of age up to about 55. I would expect this from a different cross-section of society in a different setting, maybe the local Perkins after a Snoop Dogg concert. I also saw two or three with their hats on the seat beside them. My conclusion was that somewhere along the way the rules have changed. So now it’s acceptable to have white wine with steak AND wear your hat at the table?
Things like this tend to make me feel like I have finally gotten old. Which is why I was so embarrassed recently when visiting St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. I was standing in awe at the back of the church taking in the exquisite display of gothic architecture before me when a staff member approached and in a soft but stern voice, asked me to please remove my hat!
So what’s the deal? Have the rules changed? Where do you stand on this one? Just for fun, give your age with your comment and we’ll see if this is indeed a notable cultural shift or me just being old!
21 years old. Wearing a hat is not acceptable at the table! I was brought up that a hat was not to be worn indoors. Even if you are more comfortable wearing a hat, removing it is a sign of respect when you are in someone else's home, (or eatery), and taking it off in your own home is a symbol of leaving work and the rest of the world behind as you relax.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, my Dad was born and raised in Oklahoma and has raised all of his children with respect to take hats off at the table. Respect is an overall dying field but when I get married and have children, they will not only say please, thank you, ma'am, and sir, but they will take their hats off when respecting our country and our dinner table.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I am a 20 year old from Wisconsin
DeleteWell i'm 19, and a lady... I see when it should and when it shouldn't be worn. you're not old... its just you have respect, the kinda respect that I wish every man had, but it's hard to find that anymore.. I wish there was more men out there, and if there is you definitely need to hit this chick up!
ReplyDeleteAge 33 ~ Definitely, where I come from you are supposed to take your hat off at the table whether you are at home or in a restaurant.
ReplyDeleteIt has indeed changed ...if I wear a hat even in my mom's house shed literally smack me for that, I was raised to have respect when I go into someplace and not be rude..
ReplyDeleteAshley D 23 florida
Caitlin, 16, from North Dakota. I grew up removing with the self disciplined rule that there are 4 times when you remove your hat other than when you go to bed at night, unless of course you're sleeping in the barn that night on a bale. When you're in the house, at church, funerals, and when the flag is being presented. This is the way it should be. You respect your mama or those feeding you- whether it be at home, the neighbors, or a restaurant, God, the passed, and the Red, White, and Blue.
ReplyDelete24, no hats at the table or in church
ReplyDeleteForgot, and in the presence of an American flag
DeleteAge 23, female. My dad always wore a hat at the dinner table, I never thought anything of it. When I moved to North Dakota tho alot of men (older usually) take they're hats off. I think alot of things have changed with the times. Just like theres only a few men out there that will hold a door open for a lady. Respect and good manners just isnt what it used to be.
ReplyDeleteI am a 40 yr old female, I was born and raised in the south. You are not out of context. I was raised the same way as you. During anytime you are eating at the table you are to remove your hat, its just the respectable thing to do. Not only do you remove hat at the dinner table you also remove it at church, furneral, and anytime a flag is raised. I now live in SD and I do not EVER see anyone here doing this at any event except at rodeos when the flags are present, and there are still a few that refuse to remove hats, thats whay I was surprised that you actually seen a select few that did remove their hats while eating. I have been to weddings, dinners at resturants and have never seen anyone remove their hat. I resently went back home to NC for a vist and my husband went with for the 1st visit, he constantly wears a ballcap. He was attending dinners with me and family and didnt remove his cap, I explained it to him and he said he has never heard of that, so apparently he wasnt taught. He didnt have any issuse removing his cap. I just do not think that all people were taught how to be respectful these days. We need to teach our children alot of things cultural or not its RESPECT and its not what it use to be!!!
ReplyDeleteMy brothers were always raised to take their hats off at the table, in Church, during any prayer, and of course during the National Anthem!!! I think we simply live in an "I don't care" society, where people do whatever makes them feel good, instead of respecting those around them! I mean, look at all the people who go out in public with bed head, wearing their pajamas... Lame. It really isn't THAT hard to get dressed. Manners are very important to me, and I always appreciate seeing people, no matter what their age, be respectful of those around them! -Age 22
ReplyDeleteI always take my hat off when I eat, pray, when I'm in church, when a funeral procession goes by, and DEFINITELY for the National Anthem! - 17
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the great feedback everybody! Send your physical mailing address to rcconline@rccwestern.com to claim your free gift.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure etiquette is you only have to take it off if there is a place to put it where it won't get ruined
ReplyDelete